Episode 271: Goodbye Love Your Caregiving Life, Hello The Cancer Caregiver Podcast

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I’ve always believed that all caregivers have the same needs. 

We all want people to see us and acknowledge the importance of what we do. 

We want our own support circles and ways to not have to do everything on our own but also not have to manipulate people to want to help.

We are tired of hiding our resentment, fear, anxiety, anger, shame, stress, and loneliness for fear of being judged, the belief that these emotions makes us bad people and the absence of someone we can trust to talk to. 

All caregivers want a break. 
They want to sleep soundly.

They want a vacation to forget even if for just a day the seriousness of their role and how oppressive it can feel. 

We all have trouble advocating for ourselves, prioritizing our own needs and not throwing up a little anytime someone tells us to breathe or care for ourselves.

The solutions are the same for all of us…

Learning how to set boundaries.

Understanding what self preservation really is and why its so important

Doing things to care for ourselves

Actually carving out time for breaks throughout the day

Finding someone we can trust to talk to

Creating our own support teams

The way out of overwhelm and burnout are the same for everyone.

What I’ve found is we all have to weed through the noise to try to learn and figure things out, and there’s a lot of noise.

Getting online is just like walking through the fragrance section of a department store back in the 90s at the end of the month when quotas haven’t been met (IYKYK). In just trying to get to the sock section you have to endure being spritzed, sprayed and beckoned to try the new scent, the exciting new breakthrough you need, the fragrance that will make you feel good about yourself.

When all you need is socks.

I’ve realized that I just want to make it to the socks because there’s a lot going on and I don’t have time for the distractions. 

Cancer has been screaming in my face for the past 9 months and when I have all of that noise in front of me I only have the energy to pay attention to the things that will directly help me. 

The books I find myself reading, the accounts that stop my scroll and the podcasts I still listen to only make the cut if they fill a specific need I have. 

One day I realized… The needs of caregivers are the same, but the way we need to care for our loved ones is dictated by the disease, disability or injury that makes us their caregivers. That is what makes us different. 

A mom trying to care for a disabled child is living a different existence than a child caring for their mother with dementia. 

A husband caring for their wife after surviving a traumatic brain injury is living a different life than a wife caring for their husband who had a heart attack and stroke.

A person caring for their partner who lives with MS isn’t living the same life as one who cares for their partner with cancer.

When my husband’s cancer became a real bitch a few months ago I no longer had the desire  to listen to a motivational podcast for Alzheimers caregivers or self care for moms of children with learning disabilities because even though our difficulties and needs are the same the life we are trying to find and fit solutions into are different. 

I realized that the best way to help caregivers is talk about and teach what I know. 

What I know is cancer caregiving. I’ve been a caregiver for my husband for over a decade and have been along side him through all the turbulence of this long distance trip we’re on. 

I know how to teach ways to preserve your energy, find joy in your life and become resilient even in moments of chaos, fear and stress because I’ve taught people these tools of life for over 12 years as a meditation and yoga teacher. 

I can speak to how to make sure to stay grounded while sitting in an exam room while a doctor pulls what seems like 100 feet of drain from your husbands neck. 

I can empathize with how difficult it is to fear that your loved one will run out of life saving treatments.

I can show you how to breathe while waiting for an oncology appointment that is running 2 hours late so you don’t lose your shit when you finally get called back. 

I am a cancer caregiver and I use the techniques that I teach every day. Its the only way I can do this and help you while in the thick of caregiving. I’ve realized that I can make the most meaningful change in this world by getting very specific, detailed and focussed on the things the cancer caregiver community is experiencing and needs support with.

The Love Your Caregiving Life podcast is my baby… I’ve loved writing and publishing 270 episodes over the past 4.5 years of it’s existence. I am honored by all the people I’ve been able to interview and learn from and the listeners I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know. 

It will always exist on it’s website love your caregiving life . Com

Starting this week, the show’s name will become The Cancer Caregiver Podcast. 

The new show will focus on the experience of cancer caregivers, help you learn ways to make caring for yourself a reality because you already know it’s a necessity and this newsletter will shift to bringing information on cancer specific support and information like organizations that provide free peer to peer mentorship, have art therapy programs or alerts for open clinical trials. 

I can’t wait to get started… 

If you would like to continue following this show and receive the newsletter there is nothing you need to do. 

If you’re listening to this and want to get connected you can find out how at The Cancer Caregiver . Com

And Please, if you know someone who is a cancer caregiver take a moment right now to send this to them. 

I’m excited to move forward on this journey and I look forward to get to know more about you as we do this together. 

Charlotte