Episode 106 : Top Five Reasons Caregivers Need Fun in Their Lives

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Episode 106: Top Five Reasons Caregivers Need Fun in Their Lives

Whenever I ask a caregiver if they’re going to do anything fun for the weekend, 9 times out of 10 they react in disgust and say something like “The Weekends are the same as the weekdays” or “How is fun even possible”

Let’s talk about how having fun isn’t only possible but necessary.

Now, don’t worry if you’ve already rolled your eyes or huffed. I get how you’re feeling.

Having fun doesn’t keep things moving in your house. It doesn’t get the doctors’ bills paid or get your spouse to their visits. It doesn’t get the laundry washed and really if it doesn’t exist nothing changes.

Today I’m going to tell you, I know how feeling suffocated by the importance of all you do feels, and there may be some challenges to allow this to happen but fun has been scientifically proved to help with the issues you are personally having because of caregiving. If you’re interested in reading about them, you can find their links in the transcripts for this episode on the website.

First, let’s start with what fun actually is. Fun is defined as something that is amusing, entertaining and enjoyable —— for you. Not what someone else you know thinks is fun but what you think is fun and without judgement on what that is. For example, for some reason I can’t keep from laughing at videos that involve someone slipping or tripping down the stairs. I know I probably shouldn’t laugh at them as hard as I do but it’s what I find funny and I have fun watching them - unapologetically.

So think of what you think is fun. What is fun for you in your everyday life because we’re not talking about taking a trip to Hawaii type of fun. Just what fun can be had in your home and where you live?

Some of you may be saying, I don’t even know what fun is anymore. I know that feeling. When my husband was first diagnosed with cancer there was no fun and no energy to even notice it had been lost in our home. Think of the things you used to enjoy doing. Did you like to read or draw? Maybe going for walks or on hikes or bike rides? Maybe you sang in a choir or played an instrument. Or maybe fun was hang ing out with friends?

Think of something you could do today that would bring a smile to your face or possibly even make you laugh.

There are so many reasons for caregivers to discount the need for fun. You may feel like you just don’t have the energy for it. Or it’s really a frivolous idea that only people who aren’t caregivers have the luxury to do. Maybe you would like to have fun but the guilt you feel in even dreaming of it is too much. Or you think people around you will judge the fact that you’d do something that makes you happy even for just a moment.

I’ve felt all of those things and I know how difficult it is to get through any one of these let alone multiple reasons you have as reasons why having fun feels like a waste of time. There are some days even now when it’s a little more difficult for me to do something fun for myself because it feels like there is so much to do. But I know that those are the days I need to work harder to take that break. Because, having fun doesn’t usually just happen, especially in the beginning. You have to create an opportunity for it to happen. To do that you might need to understand why it’s actually important to do.

So let’s talk about why fun isn’t just a luxury.

Reduced Stress

Studies have shown that having fun reduces stress. When you find yourself being entertained and amused you begin to reduce the production of cortisol. Cortisol is the fight or flight hormone. It’s what our body creates every time it feels it’s under attack, which for us might be all the time. Fight or flight doesn’t happen when you have a near death experience. Your body doesn’t know how to distinguish between varying degrees of threats. So from finding out your spouse has cancer to almost being in a car accident creates the same internal response.

You know that when you are under a good deal of stress it feels like you’re continually under stress and t can snowball into overwhelm if you aren’t careful. Cortisol isn’t just a by product of stress it is the creator of some bigger problems like weight gain and lowering your resistance to infection. Too much cortisol can cause high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes and fatigue.

Laughing and having fun have been shown to reduce cortisol levels. Happiness aids in lowering blood pressure as well.

I don’t know if you can be a caregiver without hearing that you need to reduce your stress. You might even understand that being under too much stress can be part of the cause for you to find yourself with some pretty serious health issues. Having fun regularly can help reduce that risk and can help you avoid it getting worse if you already are experiencing these health issues.

Fun can be one of the puzzle pieces you need in staying healthy which will allow you to caregiver longer without needing someone to care for you.

If you’re looking for easy ways to have fun, download the free issue of Caregiving Confessions HERE.

Increases Serotonin

Now, Serotonin is a chemical in your body that helps with eating and digesting as well as reducing depression and anxiety, heal wounds, and maintain bone health. Most importantly, for those of you who have trouble sleeping, it is responsible for stimulating parts of the brain that control your sleep.

It has been proven that doing things like exercise, listening to feel good music, meditating, spending time outdoors, taking a nap, watching something funny and even sex can increase your serotonin levels. As long as any of the things you do bring you joy. That’s why it’s important to find ways to have fun that actually feel fun for you. IF you’re involving people in this fun it has to be people who won’t take away from the fun either.

That’s why you might feel like you had a great night’s sleep at the end of a day you spent outside maybe gardening or at a pool or beach. So many of the activities that help boost serotonin levels are easy and free to do. Exercising doesn’t mean you have to find a gym to grunt and sweat in. It can be a brisk walk or dancing to your favorite music those are accessible and free for you to do as are meditating, and taking a nap (which might end up happening at the same time). Doing any of these things are beneficial to your health. So no more feeling guilty about or hiding the fact that you take naps. If you enjoy them then it’s important for you to do.

Boosted Energy

You and I both know that when we’re under a lot off stress it’s really hard to think or make decisions. In fact under just the right amount of stress and you might be reacting more than responding which just stresses you out more. It becomes a pretty hard spiral to come out of. Being stressed to the max which makes it harder for you to relax and get a good night’s sleep which leaves you exhausted and more stressed out.

It’s mentally draining.

So how are you supposed to have the energy to have fun?

Here’s how, you decide on the fun and you make no excuses to actually do it because when you’re in the middle of having fun you’ll feel more energy than when you started. Yo may have noticed when, let’s say watching a movie, if it’s really entertaining for you and fun to watch you don’t realize that you’re tired until it’s done? If you can get yourself past the complaints and reasons why you should really just wash the dishes instead you’ll find that once you’re in the middle of having fun those things don’t matter. You feel more awake and aware than when you first started.

Connection With Others

If your fun involves other people you’ll find yourself connecting with them better. Studies show that laughter communicates with the people you are laughing with that you have a shared view and it strengthens your relationship. It boosts your sense of connection with that person. Shared laughter has also been shown to be linked to a persons’ perception of closeness and social support in their relationship.

The lack of connection with people is a by product of caregiving. Feeling like you have lost the connection you had with people you used to enjoy being around is common. So finding a way to enjoy each other’s company and a way to laugh while doing it can help you feel connected. It can help strengthen the relationships you still do have and is a fun and easy way to reconnect with people you love, even the ones you’re caring for.

One of the first things my husband and I did while he recovered from his first surgery in the hospital is watch late night TV. After months of living in fear and anxiety we had nothing to do but sit and heal and since you never have more than a couple of hours of sleep at a time in a hospital room we started watching TV. It was right when Jimmy Fallon took over the Tonight show and it was fun for us to watch. Sitting next to him and laughing together felt so good at a time when things were so uncertain. As horrible as that period of our lives was I always remember us finding ways to laugh and it did help us stay connected.

Better Quality of Sleep

So many of us are tired all the time. We wake up feeling tired and have trouble falling asleep. So how does fun even help that?

Well, the American Psychological Association found that people with lower stress levels are more likely to report very good or excellent quality of sleep. In order to have better quality of sleep you need to reduce your cortisol levels if they are elevated and increase Serotonin which we’ve just found can all happen if we find ourselves in more enjoyable and amusing activities.

Having fun promotes your ability to sleep better. There are now studies that show laughter before bedtime can improve your quality of sleep. Not only does it help reduce cortisol and increase serotonin but it can also help you feel content with your life in that moment which can improve your ability to sleep well.

Finding Your Fun

What you do for fun also has additional benefits. Going for a walk will not only reduce stress but helps improve your fitness levels. Reading for fun improves language skills and possibly protects agains cognitive decline.

The important thing, even after knowing all the science that backs up you needing to have fun, is finding something that is fun for you.

There might be some misses if you don’t regularly do things that you enjoy. You could try to do something you used to like doing and find out you actually hate it. Remember it doesn’t have to be something epic. It can be as simple as watching a couple of funny videos online, reading a couple of pages of a book each day. No matter what it has to be something YOU enjoy doing. Sometimes we get so caught up with what our families need that we find ourselves doing things they enjoy. So make sure you’re actually doing something you enjoy doing for yourself.

You’ve done so many hard things already I know you are able to do this too.

Thank you for listening.

Scientific Studies Referenced in this episode

Episode 106 : Top Five Reasons Caregivers Need Fun in Their Lives

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